BRAIN AND HUMAN RELATIONSHIPS: Empathy, Leadership and Influence
- Marcela Emilia Silva do Valle Pereira Ma Emilia
- Jul 31
- 10 min read
🧠 Brain and Human Relationships: empathy, leadership and influence
Have you ever stopped to think about how your brain influences the way you connect with others?
Empathy, leadership and influence are not just social skills — they are also neurobiological functions deeply rooted in our brain’s functioning.
Each of these skills will have a dedicated post, but today we begin with a brief introduction to help you start developing your own skills.
In this post, we’ll explore what neuroscience reveals about human relationships and how this knowledge can be used, in practice, to improve environments, lead with purpose, and create more authentic connections.
💞 1. The neural basis of empathy
Empathy is the ability to recognize and share another person’s emotional state. For the feeling to occur, the individual must first perceive or imagine the target's emotional state so that they can feel, even partially, the same feelings as the target.
Becoming empathetic also involves observation and imagination, activating in the brain the same regions that would be activated if the individual were experiencing the situation themselves.
For an individual to feel empathy, the following are necessary:
Isomorphic affective state between observer and target
Awareness that the emotional state belongs to the other person
Awareness of what is mine vs. what belongs to the other
Empathic capacity begins to develop in humans as soon as we begin to interact with others. But it’s between 3.5 and 4.5 years of age that we begin to understand thoughts and facial expressions, which allow for an empathetic response.
Children don’t fully understand what empathy is yet, but even at a young age, we can observe types of empathic responses, which include:
Emotional empathy: “I feel what you feel” – Understanding the other’s emotion
Cognitive empathy: “I understand what you feel” – Understanding the other’s point of view
Empathic concern: “You’re not alone” – Acting accordingly
These responses are mediated by different brain regions:
Mirror neurons (discovered in the 1990s), although with limited empirical evidence supporting their role in empathy, activate motor and emotional areas when we observe someone performing an action or expressing emotion. They’re more related to mimicry — the tendency to automatically copy or synchronize another’s movements, posture, or emotional expression.
The insula, medial prefrontal cortex, and superior temporal gyrus are actively involved in emotional reading and perspective-taking, basic characteristics necessary for empathy.
In fact, research in the last decade has sought to understand how empathy works. We know that the brain activates areas involved in the real experience of a situation, covering both emotional and cognitive aspects.
📌 Practical example:A leader who notices non-verbal signs of discomfort in their team and adapts their communication is activating these empathic regions, promoting trust.
🔗 Extra: Frans de Waal – Empathy, Morality, and Human Nature (TED)
🧠 2. Leadership
According to neuroscientist Matthew Lieberman, the brain is a social organ — it evolved to deal with interpersonal relationships, hierarchies, collaboration, and belonging.
In organizational culture, the leader's role stands out due to their visibility and emotional intelligence needs to deal with various interpersonal situations.
The word “leadership” or “leader” still has no exact definition in the market, as it can be interpreted in many ways depending on context. Researchers prefer to define it in their own terms — some say there are up to 12 different types of leadership.
Based on the definitions of renowned scholars such as Kotter (2014) and Bergamini (2009), leadership can be understood as the ability to serve and influence others charismatically, promoting the development of their skills and leading, in cooperation, to the successful achievement of a pre-established goal.
A leader must have social skills that allow them to interact with and adapt to different personalities, communicate strategies and goals, and keep the team motivated.
👥 Key hormone: Oxytocin — known as the “love molecule” — is released in nearly all positive social interactions and activates other neurotransmitters (dopamine, serotonin), enhancing empathy and strengthening trust and bonds.
In one study, neuroscientist Paul Zak measured the release of oxytocin from subordinates in relation to their leaders and identified eight factors organizations can control to improve trust in both the company and its leadership:
🧠 Ovation
Recognition and rewards increase pride and a sense of belonging, especially when done in front of peers
🎯 Expectation
Creating challenges encourages employees to surpass themselves and shows trust in their potential
📊 Performance
Measurable goals and regular feedback are essential for self-assessment and growth
🔄 Transfer
Knowledge sharing between peers, leaders, and the organization builds admiration and connection
🚪 Openness
An approachable, accessible leader promotes a sense of equality and humanization
💗 Care
Kindness, empathy, and small gestures (like saying "Good morning") make employees feel valued
🌱 Investment
Supporting personal and professional growth — mental health, studies, skill development — shows that the company truly cares
😌 Naturalness
Being genuine, admitting mistakes, and seeking help humanizes the leader and inspires trust
Neuroleadership is the science of understanding the art of leadership — something that is subjective and context-dependent. It involves a human being and their brain, with the capacity to regulate their own emotions in order to connect with and influence others.
Studies show that essential areas of the brain are involved in this professional social circuit:
The amygdala is activated in social threat situations (like public scolding).
The anterior cingulate cortex is activated both in physical pain and in future-oriented thinking or social pain.
The ventral striatum responds to social rewards (praise, acceptance).
The dorsolateral prefrontal cortex regulates group behavior and ethical decision-making.
⚠️ A warning about toxic leadership, as emphasized by neuromarketing journalist Alessandra Assad:
“There’s no escaping emotions. They’re part of the human condition and affect performance in the workplace... A leader’s ability to manipulate even one team member’s toxic emotions can impact the entire organization. If the toxicity is intense, long-lasting, and not addressed in time, it can destroy both individual and company growth.”
📌 Practical example:Leaders who inspire, instead of control, stimulate brain areas related to pleasure and motivation. This isn’t just “psychological” — it’s literally biological.
🔄 3. Influence and emotional contagion
Have you ever walked into a room and “felt the mood”? That’s called emotional contagion.
👀 Our brains read facial expressions, tone of voice, and body posture — and automatically tend to imitate and internalize those emotions.
Neuroscience shows that:
Oxytocin strengthens social bonds and trust.
Dopamine is linked to motivation and social reward.
Serotonin regulates well-being and emotional balance.
In other words, we modulate our emotions based on our environment. Real-life behavioral responses often stem from past pleasant or aversive experiences.
Human behavior is the result of emotion (key to survival) and reason (which integrates emotion into social and civil contexts). Emotional contagion is a response to being in an environment where mirror neurons “capture” what’s happening — sometimes without any filtering between emotion and reason.
📌 Example:In a nursery, one baby starts crying and within a minute, they all cry (mirror neuron – no emotion-reason connection)vs.A university professor notices a student struggling and involves the entire class in reviewing the material (mirror neuron – with emotion-reason processing).
In theory, emotional contagion resembles empathy and mimicry, but it has drawn specific neuroscientific attention due to its close connection with Theory of Mind.
Theory of Mind refers to the ability to predict others’ behaviors based on the understanding that people have beliefs, desires, intentions, choices, emotions, and perceptions different from one’s own.
It helps people:
Predict social dynamics
Avoid discomfort
Improve their own mental states
Interpret others’ beliefs
Choose appropriate social strategies
In social settings, human behavior is shaped by emotional contagion and by theory of mind — predicting outcomes, judging truth, sensing acceptance, and ultimately, assessing whether the situation is good for one’s “social self.”
📌 Practical example of influence and emotional contagion:
A manager who starts the day rigidly may negatively affect the team. But a receptive team can shift the mood and promote psychological safety.
🔗 Extra: Amy C. Edmondson – Psychological Safety at Work (TED)Synesthesia: an integrated experience of senses like hearing, vision, smell, touch, taste — e.g., music, the smell of food, lighting, or someone’s perfume, all combining to shape emotional experience.
🔗 4. The brain needs connection
📉 Being socially isolated isn’t just sad — it’s biologically painful.A study by Naomi Eisenberger (2003) showed that social rejection activates the same brain area as physical pain: the anterior cingulate cortex.
Humans are 100% social animals 🧬! The feeling of belonging to a group is essential to mental and physical health. In fact, our encephalization index* allows us to have such cognitive flexibility.
It’s what differentiates us from other species — the connection between the brainstem and cortex via the thalamus enabled us to:
Learn adaptive behavior
Understand past, present, and future
Internalize others’ minds
Have consideration for others
Understand that culture transcends the individual
The human brain is the most complex system in the world. Around 10,000 genes produce ~86 billion neurons, each making ~10,000 synapses — totaling more than a trillion synapses. But all this is only possible because the brain is shaped by social relationships from the beginning.
This transformation process occurs entirely through interaction with the environment and continues uninterrupted — starting in the womb, through the mother’s voice or heartbeat, through genetics and external stimuli.
From the beginning, humans are sensitive, social beings. That’s why social pain affects us so deeply.
The way a message is delivered can have a greater impact than the message itself.
⚠️ In today’s world of lost personal contact and digital overload, confusion arises. Virtual filters distort emotional expression, and we lose the capacity for real-life coping.It’s no coincidence we see more loneliness, depression, and difficulty handling frustration.
⚠️ Social pain paralyzes.The brain signals to halt all analytical processes until relationships are restored. Otherwise, individuals may ruminate or turn to harmful ways to meet unmet emotional needs.
🎯 Key insights:
• Poorly delivered feedback activates the amygdala and emotional defense.
• Trust-based relationships activate reward circuits, boosting engagement and creativity.
🎉 Socializing is good for you! Being with friends activates more brain reward than earning money.
📌 Practical example:Psychologically safe environments foster collaboration, while chronic fear environments impair memory, attention, and performance.
🔗 Extra: Eisenberger et al. (2003) – Does rejection hurt?
*The encephalization index is a measure that compares the size of an animal's brain with what is expected for its body size.
🛠️ 5. Practical applications for everyday life
The good news: with knowledge, we can use neuroscience to improve our relationships. Here are some suggestions:
🌬️ Regulate your emotions
Before influencing others, learn to recognize and deal with your own reactions. Techniques such as conscious breathing and emotional regulation routines activate the prefrontal cortex.
⚙️ Put yourself in the other’s shoes (intentionally)
Before acting, practice asking yourself internally: “How would I feel in this situation?” or “How would I like to be helped in this situation?”. Also practice seeing the other side’s point of view during conflicts — this can prevent unnecessary tension and create safer environments.
🔬 Exercise emotional reading (facial and body)
Observe people’s facial expressions, body posture, and tone of voice when they communicate with you — with full attention — trying to name the emotions you notice. This stimulates the medial prefrontal cortex (Theory of Mind area) and helps you build better relationships.
👂 Practice active listening
Make eye contact, nod, pause, and validate the other’s speech — this creates real empathic connections.
🤝 Build trust (not fear)
Leadership based on fear activates the defense system. Trust-based leadership activates reward and motivation systems.
🎧 Develop your communication
Practice your communication — neuro-language — using words that are more motivational and appropriate to the moment, avoiding social pain or feedback that lacks positive impact. Use the formula: behavior + impact + suggestion — this always works and activates the other person’s reward system.
🌀 Increase your emotional self-awareness
Every day, do a check-in of how you’re feeling. Ask yourself, “How am I feeling this morning?” or after a stressful moment, give yourself a moment to breathe. Recognizing your own emotions prevents automatic reactions (amygdala hijack).
🧘♀️ Use conscious micro-behaviors
Tone of voice, body posture, response time… Everything communicates. And everything is read by the other person’s brain.
👶 Practice emotional hygiene
Change your environment, take breaks after meetings or stressful moments so your brain can “unload,” decontaminate, and reset — allowing oxytocin, serotonin, and dopamine to rise again.
🧪 Avoid automatic mimicry
Be careful not to automatically imitate gestures or expressions. We don’t know whether that behavior is toxic to the environment. Stick to your authentic behavioral style and ask for feedback to know what you should or shouldn’t improve. This helps prevent others’ emotions or behaviors from becoming your own.
🔗 Create a safe connection
Always have someone you trust to talk to — naming or sharing pain and joy with someone activates brain and body regulation circuits, releases oxytocin, and relieves stress.
🛠️ Have micro-purposes
Besides your daily responsibilities, add small, meaningful acts — like helping an elderly person cross the street, organizing your clothes, or complimenting a colleague’s hair. Small acts of kindness elevate your brain’s reward systems when you notice the other’s gratitude. They also restore your sense of control and reward your brain with dopamine and serotonin.
✅ Conclusion
Human relationships are, first and foremost, neurobiological.
Empathy, leadership, and the influence we exert in the world don’t come only from our personality — but from how our brain was shaped and continues to be shaped by each social experience.
Understanding your own brain opens the door to better understanding others.And caring for your connections means caring for everyone’s health, culture, and performance.
You influence more than you imagine — and now you can do it more consciously than ever.
📚 References
Assad, A. (2017). Liderança Tóxica
Herculano-Houzel, S. (2020). E a evolução criou o cérebro humano... Lecture, PUC-RS
Gameiro, T. (2018). Neurociência e Comportamentos Complexos – Neurociência Social. ESPM
Gameiro, T. (2018). Neurociência e Comportamentos Complexos – Empatia. ESPM
Gameiro, T. (2018). Neurociência e Comportamentos Complexos – Neurociência Organizacional. ESPM
Lieberman, M. D. (2013). Social: Why Our Brains Are Wired to Connect
Goleman, D. (2006). Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships
Decety, J., & Jackson, P. L. (2004). The functional architecture of human empathy. Behavioral and Cognitive Neuroscience Reviews
Eisenberger, N. I., Lieberman, M. D., & Williams, K. D. (2003). Does rejection hurt? PNAS, 100(8), 2962–2967
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